Isn't it funny how our ideals change over time. Take for example this
delightful picture of our late king Henry VIII. Now once upon a
kingdom this would be classed as high treason- but now, in this space
age sounding 2010, it's considered advertising. So instead of the
purpitrators being hung drawn and quartered - they are given a monthly
wage and a pension. See, this is how far the monachcy have fallen in
the public eye. I'm fairly sure you could get away with posting HRH
Queen Elizabeth II in her pants, in a gutter, off her face on
babysham...not that you'd ever get such a shot...she doesn't drink
babysham.
Tuesday, 23 February 2010
Monday, 22 February 2010
Double Bonus -Top Score!
In the words of a certain neon clad raver from a much beloved TV series of ours- "You lucky People"! Today we launch not only the next episode of our podcast but also a new "Insert title here" sketch.
Recorded over the weekend- episode 7 sees Jenkins apologise to Jesus, exposes the attitudes of cats and conforms to the norm with a "what is hot and what is not" section.
The Insert Title Here sketch is a quick and simple one- saving the bigger ones for later. Enjoy them both and let us know what you think.
You can find the on podcast here: Podcast on iTunes
Or here for those who don't use iTunes: Podcast site
and you can find the new Insert Title Here sketch here: ITH on YouTube
Wednesday, 17 February 2010
They are, aren't they?
It seems the sign writers on this Iceland van had a crisis of faith
whilst in the midst of a bold statement. Either that or they forgot
their own slogon (mums go to Iceland) and decided to stop when they
realised the cock-up. It would have been one of those "just let it go
Kev- no one will ever notice if it's just the one" moments. Well
someone did notice. And took a picture. And shared it with the
Internet. Should have listened to Kev really shouldn't you?
whilst in the midst of a bold statement. Either that or they forgot
their own slogon (mums go to Iceland) and decided to stop when they
realised the cock-up. It would have been one of those "just let it go
Kev- no one will ever notice if it's just the one" moments. Well
someone did notice. And took a picture. And shared it with the
Internet. Should have listened to Kev really shouldn't you?
Suggestions...

Right then. Let's try a little interaction shall we? Any topics of discussion you would like to hear aired on the next podcast? We'll be doing it tomorrow (Thursday 18th February) so I am cutting it a little fine, but the thought is there. The range of topics is only limited by your ability to think of them, which makes this a completely open forum. This means that if you want to hear a couple of severely under-qualified, ill-informed, and worryingly un-objective people discussing a subject that is dear to your heart then you should get in touch with us immediately with your name, a little bit about yourself, the topic you would like us to discuss and a vague outline of where you are and why you want us to discuss this topic.
Sound simple?
Good. I can't handle complications and neither can he.
Cheers.
- Jenkins
Tuesday, 16 February 2010
Unacceptable...

This is a primary example of what is wrong with humans having free will.
I'm not saying I don't want it; because without it, I would've made some far more sensible choices and wouldn't have had half as much fun. However; there should probably have been a quick test before dishing it out to everyone, just to make sure you qualify. They make people do it with driving, space exploration, police enlistment, life-guarding, and so on, so why not give a quick 'once over' of every potential life just before it is created in order to establish whether or not that person is going to use their free will wisely, or perhaps if a more suitable candidate would be worth a shot?
Also, I don't know who I am angrier with: The couple themselves for considering this an acceptable attire to wear of a Saturday afternoon whilst shopping in IKEA and polluting my vision with such horrors, or the shopkeeper in the 'alpaca wool atrocities' store, who deemed this double purchase to be nothing more than a cute, 'coupley', irreverent sale that would never be subjected by passersby as any kind of gargantuan eye rape whatsoever.
On this occasion I think I will permit myself to be equally annoyed with all parties concerned, as well as a trifle peeved with IKEA for allowing those two people into their stores. I know this was in Coventry and all, but please, show a little respect.
- Jenkins
Monday, 15 February 2010
Why are you watching this?
Don't watch this. It's boring. Just ignore it and it will go away.
http://www.facebook.com/video/video.php?v=326326907320&ref=nf
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Meat and Greet
Is it just me or are greetings cards a little more brash these days? If a card like this hit the shelves in the 1930's I think people may well have died of shock...either that or they would have sold billions. Maybe everyone was filthy in the 30's but didn't have an outlet. Worth pondering over- still it would have left them scratching their head for a while wondering what the hell a vegetarian was.
Happy Valentines Dismay
Time, once again, to celebrate a wonderful holiday given to us by those selfless people at hallmark- thats right ladies and gentlemen- Happy valentines day! A wonderful day of being guilted into booking a table at the most expensive restaurant in town- where they have doubled their prices and halved their menu just for this one special day. A day where you buy a single rose for the price of renting an allotment for a month. A day where you buy that special someone in your life something that they will use / wear / burn for that one day then never look at again. My wife and I have a wonderful plan for this day...we're going to make pizza. Thats right, just like any other day, and later I may play Bioshock 2. The possibilities are endless with valentines day- so fire up your own cupids bow and hit the little floating fat fecker right between his eyes. Because if you don't he'll just force you down to Marks and Spencer's to buy up one of their Valentines meal deal for 2. £60 and you get a rose too. Bargain.
Saturday, 13 February 2010
Dead henchman of the week...
Thursday, 11 February 2010
Old Spice
A little funny to brighten up your thursday- a genius advert from old spice.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=owGykVbfgUE&feature=player_embedded
Wednesday, 10 February 2010
Down today, Up...Well later that day.
Don't know why it happened- or if it will happen again. The RSS feed running the blog front page on quiteenjoy went down today but- as you can hopefully see- is now working like a charm. Don't think it was down to us either- oh no. We didn't touch a thing and it started working again. Now to solve the mystery why the twitter feed boxes keep getting closer together...I tell you the work never stops.

Dido.
Josef Fritzl.
Gene Shalit.
Jeremy Kyle.
Heather Mills.
Jim Davidson.
Andy Parsons.
Davina McCall.
George W Bush, Jnr.
Terence Trent D'Arby.
Katrina Amy Alexandria Alexis Infield Price (no, I am not kidding... that is her whole name).
As soon as you work out the reason for your inclusion on this list; I am sure you will have assumed most of the details and therefore its inevitable conclusion.
That is all.
- Jenkins
Tuesday, 9 February 2010
Life Imitating Art or Visa Versa
So it seems my name crops up in an episode of Penny arcade:
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2010/1/25/
The comic sketch actually has nothing to do with me but I'm one of those people that draw the attention to things with their name in because it amuses them.
The man who could sit anywhere
Lovely little newgrounds cartoon- havent seen one worth noting in a while. Well here we are...I have now.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/526565
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/526565
Stupidest thing I've seen today
I kid you not- Avatar yourself. My brain boils if I try and think of what possible reason you could have to use this- or what you would do with the image once you had it! If you've been looking around facebook recently you'll most likely have seen this advertisement as well. Why go through a lengthy on-line process to come up with a poor auto-photoshopped image when you could get the same effect by holding your breath and having glow worms defecate on your face.... you would be left with more dignity that way.
Monday, 8 February 2010
Fixing portal
If at any point you become separated form your weighted companion cube the I've found that seven turrets work just as well
-Brown
Aastal & Läbi...
IN: Estonian Translation websites, Weetabix with hot milk, 'Joe 90' Glasses, Learning to walk (if you're 13 months old and just sick of crawling), Grizzly Bear.
OUT: Lady GaGa, No toilet paper, Pregnant Women who smoke, Elliot Morley, David Chaytor and Jim Devine.
Monday bloody monday
I'll keep this short, sweet and pictureless. Tomorrow sees this years
big release (as far as I'm concerned anyway) Bioshock 2 - which means
at some silly late hour tomorrow night I'll post my inital thoughts on
my beloved series' sequel. Oh and I'll give my thoughts on those Mike
Judge films that I watched at the weekend at some point as
well...don't know when...depends on how much of my time bioshock 2
demands. I'm guessing it will be quite a bit.
Don't let the kittens bite.
-Brown
big release (as far as I'm concerned anyway) Bioshock 2 - which means
at some silly late hour tomorrow night I'll post my inital thoughts on
my beloved series' sequel. Oh and I'll give my thoughts on those Mike
Judge films that I watched at the weekend at some point as
well...don't know when...depends on how much of my time bioshock 2
demands. I'm guessing it will be quite a bit.
Don't let the kittens bite.
-Brown
Sunday, 7 February 2010
To Hack the Hacker

Anyone who has ever played System Shock 2 has loved it- FACT. Woken out of hyper sleep on the starship Von Braun something has gone very very wrong. The ship has been taken over and the crew infected with mind altering works and turned to violent monsters. Your only hope is the one crew member left alive- Paleto and her plan for getting off the ship. System shock 2 was the foreruner to Bioshock so is very similar in many ways- down to the audio logs and hacking systems, but seemed so much deper as a role playing game aswell.The game is a little Gem in an otherwise sea of dust and baked bean cans. Problem is now as the years roll on the game grows older- and the machines we attempt to run them on don't work as they used to back in the day. So it falls to the fan community to fix what big conglomerates have broken. System shock 2 runs on the "Dark" engine which was created for "Thief- The Dark Project" in the mid 90's. A little rough around the edges when compared to modern standards but as an "edgy" charm to it. On modern machines it can look a little patch, or simply crash all together. Having recently had a bitch of a time getting thief 2 to work on windows vista (which is the same process as getting system shock 2 to work) I thought i would share how to do it. I must stress that there is no definite instant fix but one or more of the methods bellow should work just fine.
"Safe texture manager"
-The incorrect handeling of textures by modern graphics cards will halt System shock right in it's tracks. You will know if you have this problem f you launch the game and it reports and error referencing the "texture"s. to fix this:
-Open your USR.cfg file in notepad
-Find the line ;Safe texture manager
-Remove the ; at the start of it and save.
That should be it. If you don't have safe texture manager anywhere in your list then just add it at the end without the; and it will do just fine.
"DDFix"
Sometimes the problem can be a little more deep seated than just the textures- I wold run this patch anyway as its damn fine! What this will do is replace certain parts of the System Shock files to update their properties for new machines. On mine it helped the textured to turn from 8 bit back to thier 32 bit glory. It also gives support for widescreen resolutions.
You can download it here:
"Nvidia"
It was days before I discovered that new Nvidia cards can completely break the dark engine. I couldn't find any specific way to fix this when I searched online but I managed to find one myself (after a lot of trial and error). The best way I found to fix it was as follows:
Set up a custom set of options for the SShock2.exe (you can do this in the nvida control panel)
Set the monitor set up to prepare for "single monitor display".
That worked for me!
"Dual core Processors"
Something else that will freak out any dark engine game is the thought that any computer could have more than one processor. Dark engine prefers to think of the days when all computers were run by steam and sticks- it was a happier time. If you run the game odds are it will freeze a few seconds in and you wont even be able to ctrl+alt+delete your way out of the merry cycle that the game has stuck itself in. To fix this:
At the menu of the game use ctrl+alt+delete to bring up the processes
Find SShock2.exe and right click
Choose "set affinity"
uncheck one of the processors boxes leaving just one ticked.
Then you can go back in the game. You shouldn't need to do this however if you have installed the DDFix patch as it does it for you.
And that should see you right. Its taken me about 2 years to collate all these little fixes thanks to members of various forums and I list them here now not only because i received a tweet about it but also to be a reference for myself the next time i feck it all up.
Enjoy the game- go play!
-Brown
Friday, 5 February 2010
Tis the season
Q1 Games releases are rarely as exciting as what we have announced to arrive on shelves in the coming months. So excited was I in fact that I though at least three of them were worth mentioning.
Bioshock 2
Long have i loved it's predecessors (Bioshock and System Shock 2) so its got pretty good odds of making my love it too. Due for release next week we will return to the under water f**ck storm known as rapture to put a few more holes in a few more splicers. Ace.
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/launch-trailer-bioshock-2/61531
Fallout- New Vegas
This one seemed to creed up from nowhere. After playing Fallout 3 and all its subsequent add-ons to death I am very excited to see this little gem rise up out of the dessert sand. Shame it won't have megaton in this one...though on my game of Fallout 3 Megaton isn't there either...thanks Mr.Burke. The trailer seems to show Las Vegas in the distance still relatively in tact with all its neon glory still burning that ever so tasteful rainbow into the night sky. have a look for yourself:
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/debut-trailer-fallout-new/61576
Sonic 4
As the trailer says itself- the good sonic games stopped in the 90's. So with this latest announcement from Sega we can get excited- with a fairly hefty dose of scepticism on our side as well. Sonic as we know and love him (in 2d) is coming back for another numbered episode- hard to believe that we really are only up to 4! As much as I am looking forward to it I can't help but notice the little "Episode 1" under the logo...come on now- all or nothing people, don't you dare think you can release a new sonic game in chunks of 5 or so levels because people will gather on mass to burn your house...
http://www.sega.com/sonic4/us/index.html
Bioshock 2
Long have i loved it's predecessors (Bioshock and System Shock 2) so its got pretty good odds of making my love it too. Due for release next week we will return to the under water f**ck storm known as rapture to put a few more holes in a few more splicers. Ace.
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/launch-trailer-bioshock-2/61531
This one seemed to creed up from nowhere. After playing Fallout 3 and all its subsequent add-ons to death I am very excited to see this little gem rise up out of the dessert sand. Shame it won't have megaton in this one...though on my game of Fallout 3 Megaton isn't there either...thanks Mr.Burke. The trailer seems to show Las Vegas in the distance still relatively in tact with all its neon glory still burning that ever so tasteful rainbow into the night sky. have a look for yourself:
http://www.gametrailers.com/video/debut-trailer-fallout-new/61576
Sonic 4
As the trailer says itself- the good sonic games stopped in the 90's. So with this latest announcement from Sega we can get excited- with a fairly hefty dose of scepticism on our side as well. Sonic as we know and love him (in 2d) is coming back for another numbered episode- hard to believe that we really are only up to 4! As much as I am looking forward to it I can't help but notice the little "Episode 1" under the logo...come on now- all or nothing people, don't you dare think you can release a new sonic game in chunks of 5 or so levels because people will gather on mass to burn your house...
http://www.sega.com/sonic4/us/index.html
Thursday, 4 February 2010
More space in the Office
It's just come to my attention that Mike Judge has indeed done more
than just Office Space (which we all love dearly). 2 films which I
shal be watching over the weekend- "idiocracy" and "extract". Extract
looks more likely to be the follow up to office space that we have
long hoped for but I did spot the guy who plated "micheal Bolton" in
office space in the trailer for "idiocracy". Why not dig them out
yourselfs and have a gander? Couldn't hurt...unless you jab yourself
with the DVD case...but then you'd either be dumb or just plain asking
for it.
-Brown
than just Office Space (which we all love dearly). 2 films which I
shal be watching over the weekend- "idiocracy" and "extract". Extract
looks more likely to be the follow up to office space that we have
long hoped for but I did spot the guy who plated "micheal Bolton" in
office space in the trailer for "idiocracy". Why not dig them out
yourselfs and have a gander? Couldn't hurt...unless you jab yourself
with the DVD case...but then you'd either be dumb or just plain asking
for it.
-Brown
Spotted
A little while ago I started a photo series on my facebook site-
pictures that I had taken out and about of odd things that I had
seen. I've decided to carry on this series but will be moving it to
quiteenjoy as it's new home so that it may be seen by others than
those with whom I am friends. They will still appear on facebook-
sort of- as each blog post gets featured there on my profile so if
you are a facebook hermit don't feel I'm excluding you.
pictures that I had taken out and about of odd things that I had
seen. I've decided to carry on this series but will be moving it to
quiteenjoy as it's new home so that it may be seen by others than
those with whom I am friends. They will still appear on facebook-
sort of- as each blog post gets featured there on my profile so if
you are a facebook hermit don't feel I'm excluding you.
What Andrew is listening to...
Music. Don't you just love it? Same. Can't get enough of the stuff.
I was in the middle of cleaning my upstairs (not a euphemism) and have been asked to post something on the Blog by Ant, so to satisfy his whim for regular updates and my desire to spread the good word of melodic creativity; here is a 'Top 5' of what I am listening to at the moment.
5: Sia - 'Buttons' (C.S.S. Remix)
http://hypem.com/track/1025970/Sia+-+Buttons+CSS+Remix+
4: Paul Simon - 'Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard'
http://hypem.com/track/110021/Original+Soundtrack+-+Paul+Simon+Me+And+Julio+Down+By+The+Schoolyard
3: Arcade Fire - 'Wake Up'
http://hypem.com/track/992686/Arcade+Fire+-+Wake+Up
2: La Roux - 'In For the Kill' (The Twelves Remix)
http://hypem.com/track/1000386/La+Roux+-+In+For+The+Kill+Twelves+Remix+
1: Violent Femmes - 'Blister in the Sun'
http://hypem.com/track/1014684/Violent+Femmes+-+Blister+In+The+Sun
There you go. I've done it. Happy?
Good tunes too, no?
- Jenkins
Wednesday, 3 February 2010
Marvels of the modern age
There are many achievements that the human race can be proud to have
acomplished- Fire, the wheel, electricity, indian takeaways, the girls
from hollyoaks- the list goes on. But you realise that truly we live
in an amazing world when, travelling home on an over crowded bus in
London, I can update text on a website in cyber space - telling you
about it. Stunning.
acomplished- Fire, the wheel, electricity, indian takeaways, the girls
from hollyoaks- the list goes on. But you realise that truly we live
in an amazing world when, travelling home on an over crowded bus in
London, I can update text on a website in cyber space - telling you
about it. Stunning.
-Brown
Ninjas afoot...

Ninjas; they are everywhere.
There is one behind you right now in fact. Have a look. No? Well he was there, but because Ninjas uphold a responsibility to the secret Ninja code, he will have disappeared momentarily only to reappear the moment you return to look at this screen. Clever, no? Thought you'd like that. Just be aware that at any point you could find yourself with a newly snapped vertebrae if you dare put a foot out of line. If only the Police had such a stronghold on the cadence of fear, then criminals would cease all their illicit activities almost immediately and the world we live in would return to a bastion of peace before you had even got on the bus home.
Of course, Ninjas don't bother with criminals here because they are seen merely as so many small fry, and Ninjas have far more important things to do. Like hiding behind you as you read updated blog posts on quiteenjoy.co.uk.
Think about that.
- Jenkins
The toss up between lunch and hunger

As I sit here writing this my stomach and brain are fighting each other with conflicted messages. - Stomachs position on the situation is clear and precise..."Im Hungry, give me food or i shall turn to digesting the fleshy walls of your stomach to satisfy me". He poses a strong argument for the cause of getting up from my comfy chair, in a warm building to brave the outside (which is doing it's best to imitate one of the poles). The brain however (who is completely bias in the writings of this post as he is control of my motor functions and therefore rules all) has a different stance- yet equally as simple. "Warm here- stay here". However what my brain has not banked upon is a rebellious steak within its midst against itself- therefore Stomach wins - Food time. Screw you brain you don't own me.
-Brown
There is never an acceptable time to wear lace...
The only future worth imagining, after the disarmament process, once the last echoes of war have faded and we are all living in a Utopia of our own design, where children play freely without care and nobody reads the Daily Mail or ever mentions its existence; will be one where it is completely acceptable to where lace... in this future, Prince will return to our hearts as the true lord and sovereign of this now great Earth.He really is the only one who could get away with throwing a little lace into the mix. Many others tried to follow of course, but all were slain. It looked awful. They knew it. Yes, they; your Boys of George, your Adams of Ants, your Flocks of Seagulls. Pitiful it was. All these pretenders to the lace'd crown. These Slacks of all Fades, These Plasters of Spun.
They almost ruined it for everyone. It was a darkened time, known to many only as 'The 80's'.
That time is past us now. It is but a memory associated with a great many remaining compilation CD's every one of which has a Wham! record on it. This is a preservation technique, naively believed by George Michael to keep him alive in some small part beyond the years of his body, as a Horcrux, until one day he has gathered enough strength to return to us in a mightier form than his human host allowed, so that he might challenge Prince for the dominance of the earth.
Prince of course, would never allow this.
He wears lace.
1, 2, 1, 2... this is just a test
I like this y'know: http://www.fromthebasement.tv/home - I like it alot
Tuesday, 2 February 2010
And so another year begins
What could possibly usher in a new year better than a new website? I'll tell you what..Cash...Thats what
-brown
Freeform typing...

The act of freeform typing is the equivalent of just saying what you think but at a slightly increased rate as you are trying to keep up with the train of thought process as you type which unless you are a stenographer is a very hard thing to do. Then there is the issue of spelling and punctuation. The reason this article is being published is because Ant has asked me to do a test post on this the quiteenjoy blog and I generally do what Ant says because he is more powerful than me and has a kill rating of +9... pity.
- Andi
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